Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Why does it even matter?

I feel so humbled right now. I am such a ridiculously opinionated person and I really believe this is the way the Adversary gets to me. I almost ALWAYS think that there is a right way to do and think about everything and that is the way I am doing it. This includes all kinds of categories like. . .


And the list goes on and on. It occurred to me AGAIN today (I'm a slow learner) after a bunch of my facebook friends had a shouting match and shot blood out of their eyes at each other, and after I realized I had hurt my sister's feelings by hitting below the belt with my opinion, that I need to stop. When your facebook wall and your blog comments are full of people who are obviously hurt or full of contention, you just have to stop.

And why does it even matter?

Who cares if I am a conservative and you are a liberal? And is there even THAT big of a difference between gospel-centered families who feel differently about the epidural? NO! There is NO DIFFERENCE in the end! We are all going to die and meet up in the afterlife, completely outside the man-made circumstances of Earth, and it WILL NOT MATTER!

So, what I've decided is, my opinions are important to me, and me only. I can choose whatever the heck I want to do. . . and here's the clincher. . . everyone else can too. I will still show my support for the things I'm fighting for, but it is futile and hurtful and unChristlike to belittle those who fight for something else or who just don't care.

What a humbling night.


  1. Hi Hilary! I've found that it's really important for me to have a voice. It's my voice that allows me to function and live life the way I need to, and for me to do what's right for my family.. I've also found that if people are curious about the way I live, or have questions, then I will share my voice with them, and maybe they will do things differently.
    Your right, it's futile to go out there and push opinions on people, especially if they aren't open to hear it. However, there's nothing wrong with living your life the way you feel is right, and sharing your values if someone asks.
    The only exception I make is if someone challenges my values. Then I have to stand up for myself. For instance, recently a friend of mine was asked to leave a building for breastfeeding her baby. In that case, I have VERY strong opinions (backed by law), and will show my voice to full extent. Otherwise, we just try to live peaceably and do what we do.
    I love you Hilary! I want to come up and stay with you!

  2. Hilary, I value your opinion and respect it a lot. I admire you for the research you do on so many topics. When you do a lot of research it is hard to not have a strong opinion. If anyone ever read my blog, I would alienate lots of people and important agencies.

    I got into a similar situation over prop 8 when that was the thing. I had friends outside California hollering to my Facebook wall that I was essentially evil. The evidence they used was wrong and I ended up mopping the floor with them in that debate. We haven't messaged each other since. At the time I felt as though my Wall is MY Wall and I can post my opinions freely. Similarly, my blog is MY blog and I can voice my opinions. I still feel taht way but with one modification. I have decided to not argue with people about my opinions.

    I hope you keep posting stuff about natural childbirth and breastfeeding and the way that you think and do things. I may not do things the way you do, but you are intelligent enough that I seriously consider your approaches.

  3. Ha ha. I saw those posts on facebook, and was like, "Whoa! People are gonna freak out!" I never post stuff like that because it hurts to have people freak out on me. Good for you for being brave though.

  4. Yeah that's why I don't generally post my political beliefs on Facebook. Those people that know me well enough already know how I feel. And in this day and age politics seems so emotionally charged that it's just right vs left and no one can debate the topics anymore. Just insults back and forth. Although, I did rip my brother-in-law a new one the other day on his facebook page when he said all Utah republicans are just sheep. I will pass by a difference of opinion but when all out insults and generalizations are thrown about I can't hold back. : )

    I generally feel similar to you about most/some things (as far as I can tell). And I have had to hold my tongue a few times when a friend says she is going to schedule a C-section or breastfeeding just "isn't her thing". But one thing it teaches me is that we are all different and that everyone is going through something different. Before having my baby I though natural childbirth was the way to go, but after 24 hours of labor I chickened out, and I don't regret it one bit. 22 hours after the epiduiral my baby was born at 9 pounds 7 ounces. I'm sure greater women have done greater things, but I'm not one of them. So anyways, the point is, I learned a lot from that. Life story over ha ha.

    However, I'm not so forgiving politically. I kinda get worked up over our country being destroyed and all. : )

  5. Hilary,
    I have thought a lot about your blog and have been a little reluctant to comment. I guess I will. Here are some random thoughts.
    Carefully thinking I cannot think of one great person who didn't have strong ideas, speak about them and then act upon them. Sometimes along their way they may have made mistakes but they continued and accomplished great things. They are the ones who have formed the world.
    I think of Joseph Smith who said "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." He really meant it. He invited all kinds of people to Nauvoo. He had a rabbi teach Hebrew and invited a communist to publicly speak. He knew the truth could stand on it's own. He had faith in the people to embrace truth. (I am off the subject and am rambling, you know I do that with history.)
    You have a talent of teaching and communicating.
    Others are attracted to you. You are a powerful personality. With those gifts you are obligated to use them.
    The trick for all of us is to give respect and consideration to another point of view.
    It comes down to respect and love.
    If you love someone they are more apt to listen.
    Wilford Woodruff taught that to effectively teach we must have the spirit.
    I have learned quite a bit from you. ( the instruments in a bluegrass band, to be loving and tolerant, taught in a Sacrament meeting talk, being kind and motivating as a visiting teacher, you connected better with my sister in one visit then I ever did over the years) Those are the things off the top of may head. there is much more.
    I love you and am blessed to have a part of you.
    It really does matter!

  6. I appreciate your resolve. I think too often we let external, unimportant barriers separate us from others. Of course we should stand up for the gospel, but I think we get caught on points that end up being less important. I immediately thought of this essay: http://thisibelieve.org/essay/30/
    It's pretty good.