Thursday, March 19, 2009

My One True Love: Carl Barlow

This entry is long overdue. I've been meaning to write it since I started this blog. This entry is all about why romantic love is so wonderful, and why marriage is the right thing to do. I suppose what brought on my urgency to post this was my run-in today with a guy I dated about 5 years ago. I've been thinking about how when you first start dating someone, it's kind of for selfish reasons, i.e. you like the way they make you feel. It's exciting because you're not totally committed yet, and you're still testing the water, discovering this mysterious person you want to know more and more about.

You think that's love. Then, when you decide to get married, and you are committed to each other, that's where the true love begins. It's not selfish anymore. You give your whole life to the other person. . . your time, talents, friendship, nurturing, every little characteristic you have now belongs to the one you love.

I am dedicating this blog to my incredible husband of 3 years, Carl. His patience, humor, leadership, and honoring of his marriage covenants have impressed me from day one. He just gets better and better with age. And I love him.

Carl wrote this poem for me just before our son, Jude, was born. I love the depth of his introspection, and I can't even get through the first two stanzas before I'm crying. This poem exemplifies true love, and I feel so honored that he wrote it for me!


When, I, as a child, to earth did come

The number to which I belonged, was One

--One King of The Mountain, alone I would be

--One winner of all things I wanted for me

--One boy to be cared for—my needs to sustain

--One boy to be heard—all my joy and my pain

And what’er the problems of others might be

The real ones counting—they added to me

For when weighing the listings of tasks to be done

Important ones seemingly upheld my ONE

And all was quite perfect, for shouldn’t it be

That that which was worthwhile supported my Me?

And life, I had figured, was fantastic and fun

As long as it nurtured the concept of One

And then came the day that I flew into you

My One bursting into a beautiful Two

For two on life’s lakes far outshines the one

Bearing twice the joy with a bigger sun

And ideas of One: so soon surpassed

By the wholeness of us two, at last

And blessed with your love I’ve grown stone sure

That I’ll return to One no more

For like a weak broth has One become

Next the banquet of Two—its joy and its sun

--The best part of me I’ve now offered to you

As I’ve happily rambled this world of Two

For even in moments when wand’ring apart

I now beat for Two, within my heart

And my anthem become something much richer and true

By embracing the treasure of living for Two

And to this moment we’ve come at last

When our love of two has been surpassed

Like a conqu’ring sea against the shore

Our family’s love now beats for more

So to us, my love, no wonder it be

That the marvel of Two now blossoms to Three

And like the castle on bulwarks stands

The pow’r of three it takes command

O’er an accounting of life’s most important of parts

And affixes them, soundly, within our hearts

No longer partakers alone will we be

But Creators and Stewards to care for our Three

And I wonder—though trav’ling lands mystic and tall

If this won’t be our greatest adventure of all?

--One to out-do the luster of life’s former shines?

--One to forge a foundation outlasting mere time?

Yes, a symphony much more complete will life be

In tending our priceless garden of Three

And so now, with hands held, and hearts free to soar

We shall nurture our Three, God’s entrustment of More

And to you—my love—all respect do I give

The purpose and reason I now choose to live

For life’s greatest treasures I attribute to you

My perfect, miraculous treasure of Two

For what’er life’s torrents might possibly be

With you at my side, we’ll now revel in Three.

Isn't that incredible? Besides being really hot, Carl is also SMART! In fact, I had a dream last night that we were at church, and I went into the bathroom, and there was a man in there having a heart attack (it was a dream, that's why there was a man in the womens' bathroom, you know, one of those weird unexplainable things). Well, I got kind of scared because I knew I had to put my training into practice, and I just called out, "Help!". Carl was the only one that heard me, and he ran into the bathroom and immediately started CPR while I was timidly fiddling with toilet paper or something. I only mention this dream because it is symbolic of our marriage. When I am hesitant or confused on how to do something, Carl seems to know exactly how to take charge and take care of it. He saved that guy's life in my dream, just like he's saved me too many times to count. He is what a man is supposed to be. . . a protector, a leader, a sense of security.

Here are some pictures I love. . .

Us on our wedding day, December 21, 2005.

The man I love with our little son on his blessing day

Carl took this picture of our blooming orchid. What I love about this orchid is that Carl has had it as long as we've been married, but just this year, the year our first child was born, did it bloom.

Our little family together on Jude's blessing day, just a few weeks ago.

Thank you for letting me tell you why I love Carl so much. I hope that everyone who reads this will understand what a blessing true love is, and what a miraculous and divine institution marriage is. There are a lot of things people do to feel like they're married, i.e. shacking up, spending the night, buying each other groceries and steak dinners, but there is NOTHING as sacred, honorable, and beautiful as the real thing. And I am the luckiest woman in the world to be married to my One True Love for time and all eternity.


  1. That is a beautiful poem!! I love you guys!

  2. Wow- what a touching and beautiful poem. I think I'm in love with Carl, too. just kidding-but he does sound like an incredible person and I'm so glad God made you Two. Thank you for this post. I think that true love is a wonderful thing to blog about.

  3. Beautiful family hilary! That is an amazing poem, how could I say no to following your blog after that!